The “war” continues..

What war? The “men-women” war! Read my earlier post, “Adam’s rib or Women’s Lib” and the comments from my learned friends.

AFP reported that New Zealand airlines have banned men from sitting next to unaccompanied children on flights.

AFP reports –

The policy came to light after a man seated next to a child was asked to change seats with a woman sitting in another row.

Auckland man Mark Worsley said he was told by a flight attendant from Qantas – an Australian airline that also operates domestic flights in New Zealand – that the airline’s policy stipulated that only women should sit next to unaccompanied children.

“At the time I was so gobsmacked that I moved. I was so embarrassed and just stewed on it for the entire flight,: Worsley told the New Zealand Herald.

“I felt that it was totally discriminatory – besides the point of what the hell was I going to do on a crowded flight.”

When asked if the airline considered male passengers to be dangerous to children, Air New Zealand spokeswoman Rosie Paul replied, “That’s not what I said.”

Poor Mark Worsley! I sympathize with him. Would other passengers on the flight think Poor Mark had done something to the child seated next to him that warranted a change of seat?

No, don’t blame the “spokeswomen”, don’t call it discriminatory, don’t attribute it to the “war between men and women”. It’s just a “prevention”. If there is a cause to complain, blame “evil men” like these in another local story that happens in my own little town –

A 14-year-old on Monday claimed she was raped by her father in a budget hotel near here last Friday night.

The 36-year-old suspects who is a soldier stationed at a nearby army was remanded for 11 days.

It was reported that the suspect was asked by his wife to buy school necessities for their children. He brought along his eldest daughter. After shopping, he brought the daughter to a movie. (Yan: definitely not “Chicken Little”)

He bought three bottles of beer and later bought another three cans. When he saw the daughter was drunk, he brought her to a hotel and raped her.

The reporter who reported the news took an account of other cases –

On September 3, a teacher was arrested on allegation of having raped seven of his girl pupils.

On October 16, a 51-year-old grandfather was arrested on allegation of having raped his 16-year-old granddaughter.

On November 4, a 49-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of having raped a 6-year-old girl.

On November 11, a man in his 50s was put in prison after he pleaded guilty to raping 12-year-old girl.


Adam’s Rib or Woman’s Lib

An English professor wrote the words,

“Woman without her man is nothing”

on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote, “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote, “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

Dato Dr Ng Yen Yen is here in Sibu. She was present in a function of the Sibu Businesswomen Association. She was reported to say that “men do not want the fairer sex to be more superior to them in general and that is one of the challenges faced by women in 21st century.” She added that women could do better than men in many aspects be it in the home or work place. She also said, “Our male counterpart should discard this old thinking and face the reality.”

The argument for “Men-Women” subject is unending. Just six words from the English Professor can make a whole world of difference in the hands of men and women!

What’s the intent of God? We read in the bible –

“It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Gen. 2:18)

I take here two roles of women in men’s life.

Companionship. We all need all one another. “It is not good that the man should be alone.”

Helper. It’s to be a helper. It is not only to share life together, but also in work and responsibilities. Men and women are designed to work together. Not only at home, also at work place.

Interestingly, Eve is made from the rib of Adam. Ribs are closest to the heart. Ribs protects the vital organs of the chest, and notably, the heart!

It’s from something closest to the heart that woman was made. Women should be closest to men’s heart.

It’s from the rib that women was made. Women should protects the heart of the men.

Strictly from journalistic point, what our learned Minister said at the function is not news-worthy. What do you think, my learned friends, men and women alike?


During my last trip to KL, I was caught by the quote on the infoscreen in the KLIA Ekspres train –

I share this award with all the great CEOs of this beautiful country. To all my colleagues at YTL, this honour goes to them, and I offer my gratitude in full. I also thank the CEO of Malaysia, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi for his strong leadership in his fight against corruption, making Malaysia a more competitive economy. Most important of all, I thank my Lord Jesus for perfuming YLT’s name once again and I give Him all the glory for this honour.

I was quick to get it down in my notebook. I remember reading the news of Tan Sri Francis Yeoh, CEO of YTL being awarded with Malaysia CEO of the year at the Asia Business Leaders Awards, but could not remember him sharing the award with other CEOs, and giving honour to his colleagues, thanking PM and giving all glory to Lord Jesus.

I was actually caught by the word PERFUMING. The CEO thanked Lord Jesus for PERFUMING YTL. In the beautiful figure of speech, this CEO likens YTL as a bottle of perfume, the fragrance of which is spreading all through the corporate world – and most important of all, the sweetness and fragrance are of Lord Jesus Himself.

What a way to give all honour to Lord Jesus!

I have a choice

I did not feel very well one of the days last week. Probably, it was Thursday night. I went to bed early. It was about 8:30 pm when I retired to bed. I could hear little Chris walking in and out of the bedroom.

When I woke up the next morning, refreshed from a good sleep, I saw my dressing table mirror stuck with many “post-it” notes. It covered half of the mirror.

Chris has written many little notes and stuck there! There were many heartwarming words –

I love you
I am so sorry that you are not feeling well
I am sorry for making you angry sometimes
Can we go for “noodles” tomorrow morning
Wake me up early please
I promise I’ll be good
God blesses you
God loves you
God takes care of you

My two children like to write letters to me. They would put them in my handbag, or under my pillow, or on my study table. This is the first time that “post-it” notes were stuck to the mirror.

Yesterday, a doctor whom I met at the Combined Scientific Meeting in Singapore wrote in an email, “your two children must have given you many happy memories of the time in Singapore General Hospital.”

Happy Memories? My first thought was, doctors are very strange people, how could a patient have happy memories of the hospital?

A long, long time ago ….

It took me five years to have Rachel, and another five years to have Christopher. When Chris was five, we prayed for another child. Yes, indeed, I was pregnant! But, at eight weeks, I have to terminate the pregnancy because the baby was not in the womb, it was stuck at the fallopian tube. For that, Chris felt so sorry. He said, “It is my fault. I forget to ask God to put the baby in the tummy.”

The endless treatments, surgery rooms, the GA, the injections, the endless drawing of blood, the CRIB in hospital for the first three months of pregnancy, the long journey, the frustrations, the tears, the pains, tummy all swollen with no more space for injections, tests… you name it, I went through.

It was a painful journey. Should I call that happy memories?

Now and then, friends will send me some nuggets of wisdom, here are some that comes in one package –

Throw out nonessential number
This includes age, weight and height
Let the doctor worry about them
That is why you pay him/her.

Keep only cheerful friends
The grouches pull you down.

Keep learning
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain idle.
“An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”
The devil’s name is Depresstion.

Enjoy the simple things
When the children are young, that is all that you can afford
When they are in college, that is all that you can afford
When you are on retirement, that is all that you can afford.

Laugh often, long and loud
Laugh until you gasp for breath
Laugh so much that you can be tracked in
The store by your distinctive laughter

The tears happen
Endure, grieve, and move on
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves
Be alive while you are alive, don’t put out
A mailbox on the highway of death and just wait in residence for your mail

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is
Family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies whatever
Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health
If it is good, preserve it
If it is unstable, improve it
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help
(remember? You pay doctors to help you)

Don’t take guilt trips
Go to the mall, the next country, a foreign country
But not to guilt country.

Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity
And always remember…
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take
But by the moments that take our breath away.

They say
It takes a minute to find a special person
An hour to appreciate them
A day to love them
But then an entire life to forget them.

Yes, I have a choice – to remember that as painful memories or looking back and said, “God, thank you for the two special gifts, Rachel and Christopher.”

Posted in Soul Bond. Comments Off on I have a choice

Life Lessons in Court

Yesterday, one of my stories was about the “doctors (note the plural) in court”. Today, it’s more delightful with Chief Judge to teach you some life lessons.

The legal practitioners in Sarawak were given some pointers on court etiquette by Chief Judge of Sabah and Sarawak Tan Sri Datuk Amar Steve Shim Lip Kiong. 14 advocates were admitted to Sarawak Bar yesterday, The Borneo Post reported.

Pick up some pointers here for your everyday use, too. I am sure some are applicable.

When you need to refer to your opponent in court call him “my learned friend”. Likewise to the judge, “My learned judge” or “My learned Chief Judge”. The use of word “learned” is part of the courteous language of the court, which simply means “qualified as lawyer.”

Don’t ask a direct question to the judge. If you want a break for lunch, say this, “My Lord, I wonder whether this is a convenient moment for a lunch break”.

If you want the Judge to refer to document, say this, “I wonder if your Lordship can refer to page 123 of the bundle.”

Always ask the judge for permission this way, “May it please you, your Honour/My Lord/My Lady”.

Make a point to thank the judge whenever possible and also to use words like “Much obliged, My Lord” in most situations.

The Chief Judge said a magistrate or judge who sits in court is entitle to demand respect from those who appear before him.

Well, my learned readers, my learned friends, I wonder whether this is a convenient moment for a lunch break!

Oop… that indirect question does not deserve that exclamation mark.

Much obliged, my learned Chief Judge, for that life lessons!

For all the pointers, this exclamation mark justifies.

Four Stories

I do not wish to link these two stories together. But, my little mind keeps on wondering.

Story one –
Kuching – The mother of 14-month old Siti Shaqirah Azreen who died at the Sarawak General Hospital on Friday has alleged that slow response on the part of the hospital caused her daughter’s death.

Norita Saili, 30, said that though the girl had turned blue no doctor came by to inspect her.

When met at her house in Kampung No. 4 near here yesterday, she said Shaqirah was brought to the hospital because the toddler was crying incessantly, refused to sleep and vomited every time she was fed with milk.

The girl was warded at the hospital after she was suspected of suffering from heart ailment, but died nine hours later.

Norita claimed that she was earlier informed by a doctor that her daughter could only be attended to on Nov 22 because all the doctors were busy.

“I find it strange that if my daughter was suspected to be suffering from heart problems, why was her case not considered serious?” she asked. – Bernama

The other story –

Ex-TYT testifies in court
Medical team on stand-by as witness in Keruntum civil suit hearing appears in High Court

Former Head of State Tun Abdul Rahman Ya’akub yesterday appeared at a High Court here with some medical support, an ambulance and two medical officers from Sarawak General Hospital standing by.

(details not included. The case is a civil suit filed by Keruntum Sdn Bhd claiming damages from the government for canceling the company’s timber licence on Marh 11, 1987 over a forest area in Ulu Baram. The former head of state was among four people called to testify.)

On Nov 11, Skinner (Justice) rejected KSB’s application that Rahman should give evidence at home due to his heart-related ailment.

Skinner pointed out that stress would come from cross-examination and therefore it should not make any difference if he testified at home or at the court.

The court was also told that Rahman was not bed-riddened or in hospital.

On Nov 7, the court was told that Rahman was having chest pain and required an assessment by a British medical consultant, who later confirmed that Rahman was subjected to stress.

Mohd Arif (Counsel for Keruntung) also tendered to court a medical report from SGH stating that Rahman was undergoing conservative medical therapy.

He had been hospitalized at the SGH because he might need invasive surgery but subsequently, he was discharged.

Yan’s thoughts – There we have no doctor to attend to the child, here, we have a team of two doctors and ambulance on stand-by. It is not my wish to link them together. I do not wish to link them together. It’s not fair. The woman’s claim is one side of the story. But, but, are we guilty of ignoring the little children, sometimes, somehow? Yes…? Are we guilty of attending to the rich and powerful first at the expense of poor and weak, sometimes, somehow? Unknowing? For fear? Yes ….?

The Bible has two stories of different setting in the Book of Mark. I also want to quote.

I shall start with the story of the blessing of the children, found in Mark 10:

And they were bringing children to him, that he might touch them; and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it he was indignant, and said to them, “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands upon them. (Mark 10:13-16 RSV)

What a beautiful picture you see here. Let your imagination runs, Jesus gathering the children around him, one inquisitive little boy on his lap, a little girl standing demurely at his side, others clustering around, clamoring for his attention, all with asking eyes…

Come back to the real world, and let me move on in the story, as Mark does, to the incident which immediately follows:

And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone.” “You know the commandments: ‘Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'” “Teacher, all these I have observed from my youth.” And Jesus looking upon him loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” At that saying his countenance fell, and he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions. (Mark 10:17-22 RSV)

This is “the story of the rich young ruler,”. In the books of Luke and Matthew we are told that this young man was very wealthy, and that he was a ruler, an aristocrat.

Four stories, four settings…

What do these stories tell you?

It tells me Jesus loves the little children. He is never too busy to attend to them. It also tells me that Jesus loves me for what I am.

I am ending my lunch hour with these words from Jim Reeves …

Why Do I Love You (melody Of Love)
Jim Reeves

Why do I love you
I love you not only for what you are
But for what I am when I’m with you
I love you not only for what you’ve made of yourself
But for what you’re making of me
I love you for ignoring the possibilities of the fool in me
And for laying firm hold of the possibilities for good in me
Why do I love you
I love you for closing your eyes to the dischords
And for adding to the music in me by worshipful listening
I love you because you’re helping to make of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern but a temple
And out of the words of my everyday not a reproach but a song
I love you because you have done more than any creed to make me happy
You have done it without a word without a touch without a sign
You have done it just by being yourself
and after all perhaps that’s what love means

Destination Sickness

Early this month, I attended the Combined Scientific Meeting in Singapore. This statement by a Dietitian, Ms Chan Mei Yen, impressed me. She said that the Asian Avian Flu is no doubt scary, but obesity and overweight still remains a major health problem.

Today, after reading Desi’s “For Power and Wealth”, I add in to this statement –

Asian Avian Flu, obesity and overweight may be scary, but destination sickness remains the common illness among millions of people.

Huh? Destination Sickness? I am not a doctor, nor am I scientist. I am just a little woman. What is destination sickness?

It is arriving at your destination, at the place where you have always wanted to be, having everything you want to have, but not wanting anything that you have got at that destination.

Is it not a sickness?

The cure?


Contentment is not being happy with what you have, it is being happy with what you don’t have.

Does not sound logical. That’s the reason, we could never find a cure to this common illness.

Contentment is where true wealth and power lives.